Byeong-ho Li Album's.

📱 WhatsApp Chat – “Mama”
🕘 21:47 PM – London Time

Ratih Sarasvati: Kamu di mana? Udah makan belum?
("Where are you? Have you eaten?")Byeong-ho: Udah, Ma. Tadi makan bareng temen.
("Yes, mom. I had dinner with a friend.")Ratih Sarasvati: Temen lagi, temen terus. Kapan kamu punya pacar, Ho? Umurmu udah 20, jangan main-main terus.
("Always with friends. When will you have a boyfriend, Ho? You're already 20, stop playing around.")Byeong-ho: Iya… nanti aku kenalin kalo udah ada.
("Yeah… I’ll introduce them when I have someone.")Ratih Sarasvati: Jangan nunggu-nunggu. Anak temennya Mama aja udah tunangan. Mereka kerja di bank, gajinya bagus. Kamu? Kuliah seni.
Apa bisa hidup dari gambar?
("Don’t keep waiting. My friend's child is already engaged. They work at a bank and earn well. You? Art school. Can you even make a living from drawing?")Byeong-ho: Aku suka gambar, Ma…
Aku usaha kok.
Aku kerja juga, jadi barista…
("I like drawing, mom… I'm trying my best. I'm working too, part-time as a barista…")Ratih Sarasvati: Ngapain susah payah jauh-jauh ke London cuma jadi tukang kopi?
Coba kamu kuliah di Jakarta aja, lebih murah. Gak ngerepotin.
("Why struggle all the way in London just to make coffee? You should’ve studied in Jakarta. Cheaper. Less of a burden.")Byeong-ho: Gak ngerepotin, Ma. Aku pakai beasiswa, kerja sendiri…
Gak apa-apa capek, aku cuma pengen hidup yang aku pilih…
("I’m not a burden, mom. I’m on a scholarship and working for myself… I don’t mind being tired. I just want to live the life I chose…")Ratih Sarasvati: seen(No reply. Silent guilt.)

Byeong-ho (sends one more message): Maaf ya, Ma, aku sayang Mama. Aku cuma pengen bikin Mama bangga…
Aku belajar yang bener kok. Aku gak nakal.
("Sorry, Mom. I love you. I just want to make you proud… I'm studying properly. I'm not doing anything bad.")

📩 SMS Chat – “Appa”
🕚 23:03 PM – London Time

Appa: Your mom says you don’t want to come home.(no greeting. no punctuation.)Byeong-ho: It’s not that, appa…
I just… I have school. And work. I don’t have time or money to fly back.
I’m trying to focus here.(several minutes pass)Appa: You think art will help you survive?Byeong-ho: I don’t know. But it helps me breathe.
It helps me feel like I’m not a mistake.(pause. then:)Appa: Hm.
Just don’t waste what we gave you.(Byeong-ho stares at that line for too long. Feels like a bruise.)Byeong-ho: I won’t… I promise. I’m trying really hard.Appa: Are you eating enough?(Byeong-ho almost smiles. Almost.)Byeong-ho: I try. I had kimchi jjigae with my… with someone.
It was spicy. They couldn’t handle it so I had to finish theirs too.Appa: Tch. Typical.
You always do that. Eat too much for others.Byeong-ho: Haha…
I don’t mind.(another pause. then, surprisingly...)Appa: I saw your drawings. The one you posted last month.
The light was good.
It looked… expensive.Byeong-ho: ...You saw that?Appa: Your aunt forwarded it. Said you looked like your mother when you were young.(now that hurts more than it should.)Byeong-ho: I hope that’s a compliment.Appa: Hm.
Just don’t forget Korean. Or your name. Or us.Byeong-ho: I won’t forget. I just want to find where I belong.
That’s all.Appa: Belonging doesn’t come free.Byeong-ho: I know.🧍♂️ End of chat. His dad won’t say “I love you.” Never has. Never will.
But that "The light was good" was the closest thing to validation Byeong-ho has gotten in years.